Sunday, May 11, 2014

Fanservice Galore: BTS



Have to admit, this song was really hard for me to stomach. However after a couple of listens it fucking slays and is totally addictive. Anyway let's get down to the buisness.

Sometimes I'm bored and look at idols, shocker right! So I decided to put my boredom into even better use and just make little blog post about them. I'm starting with BTS because why the hell not? I'll call this Fanservice Galore. Because it's basically an exceptional amount of me throwing you fanservice so we can both spazz and flail about. You're welcome.

First I'll do a quick (and by quick I do mean quick ) list of the fetishes the group fuels as a whole and then go into to what each individual member has.

Yes the female fanservice episodes will continue, however the reason why those are so short is because I am a straight female who only knows what to post for straight men and gay women via AKF. So these will be longer because, I like boys. 

FETISHES BTS WILL FUEL AS A WHOLE

#1. Ghetto Hoodlums 

#2. Gun Shots (See We Are Bulletproof Pt.2 Above)

#3. Legs


#4. School Boys (If a school girl fetish can exist, you can bet your bottom dollar that a school boy fetish does.)

I feel bad for their teachers...


#5. Chill 90's Beats (My Personal Fave)


And the 7 Deadly Sins.

A FRIENDLY INFORMATIVE GUIDE TO HOW I PERSONALLY SPAZZ OVER EACH MEMBER

Princess Prince Jin

Jin obviously very gorgeous, with my favorite being his eyes.





Which I find most appreciated here:


He's also pretty cute "moving."




The last one is of him staring into your soul. 


If you like da pretty boys, it's obvious who to go to. (Hint: Jin)

Sweet Fuck Suga

Ahhh Suga, my bias! If you're into rappers/producers/lyric writers/adorable yet badass as fuck people. This is your type.


Majority of the "No More Dream" and "WABPPt.2" promotional/styling style shafted him. However this I really like. Even with that fake-ass gold credit card dangling sexily from his mouth. Now that I think about it, I really, really, really like this picture. Why don't I look at this more often???

I cannot pin point what exactly is so alluring about Suga. Maybe it's his 180 personality to go from "I'll fuck a ***** up!" to "FREE HUGS FOR EVERYONE! AREN'T I JUST SO ADORABLE!!! LOVE ME!!"


Sorry for sounding really gross but is he not sexy as fuck in that video while he's rapping under "Ghetto Symphony"???

The most spazz material you will get is obviously the trillions of selca's. Which are more adorable than bad ass.


Or his ability to look like a cat and a dog at the same time:



Or his long ass legs:



Or his dope rapping. Speaking of which his rap voice and talking voice are really different. His talking voice is "deeper than the ocean."

Bottom line he's hot. Spazz.

J-Horse  J-Hope

My favorite horse in K-Pop! Firstly, he refers to himself as J-Horse and I think his teeth are cute, so I am no way shape or form calling him unattractive.


Although this particular picture may say otherwise (I just like him in the bandana's.) If you're into say "Happy Virus's" (like Chanyeol) really adorable and smiley faced dudes. Then you should most definitely take a ride on the J Horse (take that any kind of way you like.) I don't know why, but dude reminds me of Jongup from BAP. Can't put my finger on it.

J-Hope can mostly be appreciated along with Suga and Namjoon in the writing/producing area musically. When it comes to visuals, his eye-smile/ eyes overall take the blue ribbon.



Nom nom!

Okay, I'm stopping here with the pics. I can only take so much J-Hope before three-hours have passed and I'm still on Google Images with my spazz on 100.



Of course dancing:
(He kicks in half-way through.)




Yeah, Suho_ftw's bandana fetish is stronger than mine. But I still have one.

Rap Monster Namjoonie Namjoon


Okay I'm just going to throw this out there, calling somebody Rap Monster is just awkward. BTS has some of the weirdest names out there.

Anyway, I find Namjoon to be one of the most attractive members in the group. It was surreal seeing him without his glasses at first, however I like his eyes and overall face. He produces songs along with Suga and J-Hope.

If you're into a badass rapper that has one of the most  adorable faces and variety personalities ever then Namjoon is your guy. 



Hard to be intimidated by you when your face looks like it was birthed from a unicorn:

DIMPLES!

Not to mention his smile:




One thing BTS fans have taken note of are his attractive-as-fuck hands:


Legit I don't usually ladysterbait spazz to hands. But if I did, it would be to Namjoon's. NOM!

And the hilarious Pussy-Beatin' Song:


Basically, Namjoon's like those big-ass boritos you get at Chipotle. Intimidating at first, but once you take a bite, you won't stop noming on the whole thing.

The Little Lady Bug Fairy V or Taehyung or TaeTae or Another Spawn of Satan

BTS's resient alien.

I'm using a screen-cap from "Boy in Luv" because none of the past teaser pics do him any justice imo.

V is the member that is on constant crack and is also one of the most popular members. He has one of the most distinguishable faces in K-Pop tbh. Probably due to his overt resemblance to Baekhyun and Daehyun.


With that said, I'm pretty sure that if V stared at you long enough, a fire would probably ignite and erupt around you by those Alien Eye Beams because those eyes are pretty intense. I'm getting kind of scared at the moment because that selca above has been staring me down for the past minute and I'm starting to feel hot. 


And according to some website that I lost the link to, you guy's have been spazzing over V since his first teaser picture. 

He makes a very cute derp:

Now that I think about it, Jiyeon with her Cyclopean Eye Beams and V with his Alien Eye Beams would make a very bad-ass crime fighting duo.





I find him most appreciated in gifs.


"Prepare for Satan's fiery flames up your ass."
There is no way to prepare for that. 



Ahem, so if you haven't stopped, he's known to be crazy as hell and derpy. Also kind of [slow????] I think. So if you're into handsome, crazy, sort of "not all there in the head", aliens then V will probably catch your eye.

I'm NOT going to post anything referring to his deep voice because it would take a whole other day to write. I've been writing this since Friday.

Not a REAL Hyung Jimin


Most attractive member imo AND is also the most adorable (well, there should be an adorable trio of Suga, J-Hope, and Jimin), slightly disturbing (in a good way) when the sexyiness comes in.

Unlike with Suga, where I cannot exactly pin point what is so adorable about him, Jimin's is highly overt. He can honestly not really do any wrong…


I read somewhere that he thinks he's fat or is insecure about his chubby cheeks. Jimin, a girl would have to be a dumb ass bitch to find you totally unattractive because of something as endearing as cheeks.




Yeah, keep your face the way it is. Your cute as hell. His features are soft matching his voice.

Is Jimin IN on the JiClops and TAelian? Side note UNF!


Can't really make a spazz post about Jimin and not mention this…

Oh yes! Jimin is BTS's "resident bagel man" meaning adorable-as-fuck-face, and body of an Olympic Gold Medalist swimmer. If you're into boys that are every type of attractive in the book then lady-fap/spazz to Jimin.

I have yet to take less than ten minutes to watch this two minute video of him:


Jungkook Jail Bait Fetus


WOOPS SORRY WRONG PICTURE!!! (muhahaha!!!!)

The resemblance is uncanny.



Yeah whenever I look at him all I see is rabbit fluff.


Same wide black eyes, same exaggerated cheeks, same teeth. It's really quite adorable. However if you're 18 and over then you should probably leave this post ASAP.

RABBITS FTW!!!




 I hope the noona's left


Awww, so cute and fluffy. I just want to catch him and feed him carrots.


Takes even the most light hearted dancing serious:


The thumbnail is a ass-lovers dream.



Relevant part 0:00-1:40.


Okay I'm stopping here. 

I hope you enjoyed this. It took me four days to write it. Love you! Cha_Cha out!



5 comments:

  1. This is solo accurate lol.
    The pic of the rabbit had me shitting bricks!!! XD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. XD I forgot you were a Jungkook fangirl!
      You're probably lady-fapping it away right now!!!

      Delete
    2. STFU CHA_CHA!!! I DON'T DO THAT >:( !!!!
      Kookie is adorable <3

      Delete
    3. You Right Now: *Fapping and Panting heavily* "Yeah Kookie, gimme dem' teeth!"

      Delete
    4. He's very adorable. And that's why you fap.

      Delete